1. There is no substitute for independent judgment. I was shocked by the amount of double mastectomy peer pressure that is out there. Luckily I had the choice between a lumpectomy and mastectomy. Had my team of doctors suggested that a mastectomy was best for me I would have buckled down and got myself prepared to loose my body parts. But I love my breasts, and never planned on plastic surgery (to have bigger or perkier breasts), nor did I want to cut off any unnecessary body parts! In my case, there was no medical reason for me to have a double mastectomy, only emotional/anxiety reasons. The decision was not easy and I still think about it, but I know it was the right decision for me, right now.
2. I am convinced that one of the greatest gifts of cancer, for anyone, but especially women, is that we finally are able to take and receive without guilt or shame. I realized that much of the time, I’ve been saying “yes” to things I don’t want to do and “no” to things I do. There has been such a learning curve to let people take time out of their lives to care for me, to leave the things they need to do because I need them or just because they want to be there for me. When I was first diagnosed I struggled with this until Ashley reminded me that I had to let my friends be what the best of friends do for each other...be everything you need when you need it the most.
3. I let go of expectations and resentments. As many people in crisis discover, not everyone is capable of being there for you in the way you need. So many took amazing care of me, especially my family. But as I found myself getting frustrated or hurt by those who weren’t stepping up, a friend reminded me to just try to have no expectations for a change. Instead, she helped me to see that when I look at others with love in my heart, it not only feels so much better and easier than resentment, but it brings the love back to me a million-fold. Everyone’s just doing the best they can.
Has life or cancer changed you; has it made you less judgmental and more open to try new things, or has it made you more fearful of the future? Since we don’t know whether we have a day or decades, I hope you: cherish each moment, extend your heart to others, be open to love, put yourself out there in ways that make you uncomfortable and live out loud.
XOXO -K
2. I am convinced that one of the greatest gifts of cancer, for anyone, but especially women, is that we finally are able to take and receive without guilt or shame. I realized that much of the time, I’ve been saying “yes” to things I don’t want to do and “no” to things I do. There has been such a learning curve to let people take time out of their lives to care for me, to leave the things they need to do because I need them or just because they want to be there for me. When I was first diagnosed I struggled with this until Ashley reminded me that I had to let my friends be what the best of friends do for each other...be everything you need when you need it the most.
3. I let go of expectations and resentments. As many people in crisis discover, not everyone is capable of being there for you in the way you need. So many took amazing care of me, especially my family. But as I found myself getting frustrated or hurt by those who weren’t stepping up, a friend reminded me to just try to have no expectations for a change. Instead, she helped me to see that when I look at others with love in my heart, it not only feels so much better and easier than resentment, but it brings the love back to me a million-fold. Everyone’s just doing the best they can.
Has life or cancer changed you; has it made you less judgmental and more open to try new things, or has it made you more fearful of the future? Since we don’t know whether we have a day or decades, I hope you: cherish each moment, extend your heart to others, be open to love, put yourself out there in ways that make you uncomfortable and live out loud.
XOXO -K
So beautifully put and such a great reminder, as you said, to cherish each moment. Your outlook, optimism and positivity is such an inspiration to be hopeful rather than fearful of the future! Thank you for sharing this!
ReplyDeleteAdrienne
Beautiful....thanks for reminding all of us of the important things in life!
ReplyDeleteStaci