Finding Strength

Happy Sunday to you!  My suitcase is packed and I am ready for some fun in Vegas and then Wednesday I leave from Vegas to San Fransico for a 5 day trip.

There has been a gloomy, grey haze over me all this last week and it is going to take all the strength I have in me to get through this next week.  While I was on vacation last weekend I felt a lump at the top part of where my tumor once resided.  I didn't think much of it until my drive home from work on Monday.  First day back from vacation and I guess the reality of what the lump might be smacked me in the face.  I quickly made an appointment with my surgeon to take a look at it. The appointment was Friday morning and he has me scheduled for an ultrasound (insert frown here), as he is as curious about the lump as I am.  He suggested I travel as planned, do my best to have fun (doctor's orders) and take care of the ultrasound first thing when I return.  

The grey, gloomy haze has been interesting, different.  The waterworks have been flowing this week. I haven't been this bothered and upset by these type of set-backs yet. So, why now? For those of you who have supported a survivor or are one, how do you best get through scans, lumps, bumps and scares?

What I think is bothering me the most is that I just got life back, a routine and experiences that have nothing to do with doctors.  I don't wake up in the morning and go to bed at night thinking about cancer.

I will take this one as it comes, I am putting good energy out into the universe, hoping that my body is healthy because it is all too soon to do this over again...

Love, Love - K