Beaming from Radiation

The alarm on my phone starts annoyingly beeping at me at 7:30am and it's amazing how exhausted I feel.  Wait, how is this possible?  I just slept 8 + hours.


After I hit snooze once and the annoying beeping starts again, I get out of bed, I drag myself into the shower, begin my morning routine, then off I go to Dr. Lewinsky's office for radiation.  I have completed 26 treatments and have 7 more to go, every Monday through Friday, I drive box canyon to West Hills (right across from the hospital).  Have I mentioned before that I DO NOT like driving canyons?  It makes me nervous everyday, however, on the flip side it is a really beautiful drive and I forget where I am sometimes, there are parts of the drive that are sureen. I leave at the same time every morning, take the same route, park in the same lot, am greeted with the same cheerful smile and "Good morning, Kristin!" from the front office staff, I sign in.  I immediately head to the private changing area for radiation patients, change into my gown, leave my keys and clothing in a locker and head to a private waiting area for radiation patients. I wait for one of the radiation technicians to come get me and tell me they are ready for me.    

As I exit the waiting room, I head down a hallway that has a massive door in front of it.  On the door in bold is "CAUTION" signs welcoming you into the world of radiation.  

As I turn the corner at the end of the hall, I am greeted by a massive radiation machine.  The one that I will lay on for the next ten minutes. So, I untie my gown, jump up on the table and get myself in perfect position...top of head aligned with the top of the headrest, left arm out of gown and holding onto the pegs above my head, right arm does the same (might I add how proud of myself I am... I can completely extend my left arm now while holding onto the pegs and it is no longer painful) legs straight and uncrossed, feet together, head turned to right side.  Normal breaths, no deep breathing, no holding the breath.  No itching, no coughing, no movement of any kind.  Relaxing the body.

Once I am positioned properly on the table, the technicians read off various numbers from the tv screen which list all of the parameters for my radiation treatment.  They use those numbers to make sure I am in the exact same position for every single treatment.  The table is elevated, pushed back towards the machine, and moved centimeter by centimeter into the right position.  They then turn off the lights, which then allows green laser beams to become visible.  These laser beams are used to make sure they line up with my radiation tattoos and the "x's" all over my body, so that they can ensure I am in precisely the same spot for each treatment.  Once I am all lined up and ready to go, the therapists turn the lights back on, leave the room, and close that huge door I previously mentioned in order to protect themselves from the radiation.  

First the machine arms come out and do an xray each time so that the technicians know I am properly placed.  I am laying on a mold of my body- which is another tool to help them properly place me. Then once they get me right (the table moves, etc) the huge machine rotates around radiating my left breast, left underarm, chest and left side of my neck.  The machine rotates twice around me, everytime making sure to miss my heart when radiating (I am doing the IMRT treatments).  Based on where my tumor was and given that we are treating the left breast, my radiation is high risk treatment so you can imagine the precaution the team takes. You don't feel a thing, really can't even tell it is happening (total beam time is 2 minutes). Within 10 minutes or so, I am off the table and saying good bye to the technicians, on my way to the dressing room.  The machine is quite an incredible work of medical art.  For the ten minutes I am laying there, as I know the radiation is beaming, I say to myself, quietly (there are microphones and cameras so they can see and hear me throughout treatment) that I am so thankful for the radiation and it killing any and all last cancer cells that may be present in my lymp nodes/ducks or breast .

Starting on treatment 29, I will have what is called a "boost".  This is where they radiate my tumor site, only.

Aside from the skin issues, the fatigue has hit me hard (both typical side effects of radiation).  I am definitely running on empty. I am exhausted- wiped out.  Completely drained.  I don't think the fatigue from chemo hit me until radiation started and then on top of that the radiation makes you tired.  So a double wammy. It is much more than a feeling of sluggish, more than wanting to nap or kick your feet up for a bit.  It is heavy eye lids, wanting to go to bed at 3pm daily and a really hard time getting anything done besides just sitting.  It's hard to explain or imagine, unless you have experienced it.  And I hope you never have to- hope I am doing it for all of us.

My skin irritations are minimal, I feel very fortunate.  Daily I apply Coat's Aloe (paraben-free, organic very high quality aloe) and Coat's Aloe Lotion twice, Callendula,  plus La Ocitane Almond Oil.  Basically, I do everything I possibly can. More info on Coat's Aloe

I miss my antioxidants.  I am going to have a berry and dark chocolate party the night that I finish radiation.  April 24th... who's in?

More about radiation? Radiation therapy is a highly targeted, effective way to destroy cancer cells in the breast that may stick around after surgery.  Like Dr. Lewinsky says, "its my insurance".  After finding the second cancer during surgery, the radiation is a security for me, that I can only hope, will kill off any possible cancer cells that are left over after chemo and surgery.