Overall I am feeling well this week. Last week I had a lot of skin irritation with the radiation, but now most of the time the irritation has subsided. I knew going into it that it is not a "if" situation but "when" I will start to burn and feel tired. I obviously am feeling both but they are manageable. Last week I spent a lot of time resting and in bed, this week will be more of the same.
Met with Dr. Meyering this week and my vitals are looking good. I have had lots of follow-up doctor's appointments. Normal Status: Echocardiogram, liver and kidney, vitamin panel is looking good with the exception of Vitamin D and Iron. I am still on the border of being anemic but am almost "normal" with the white blood cell counts.
Happiness:
10 more radiation treatments= happiness! I won't miss my daily radiation appointments, drive to West Hills- 5 days a week. The obvious cut-back in doctor's appointments will be fabulous! The 3-a-day doctor's appointments that come and go can stay gone.
Stupid Cancer:
Last weekend my Mom and I went to Vegas for a young adults cancer conference (called Stupid Cancer). A few things I would like to point out:
1. A year ago thoughts of attending a cancer conference, especially in Vegas, would have been unthinkable and yet laughable.
2. My highlight (there were many- too many to share). Imagine this: 100's of cancer patients/survivors and caregivers at the Playboy Club Saturday night and bunnies are all around. It's spring break and Vegas is packed! Fat, thin, ugly, beautiful, hair, or no hair .... We are all on the dance floor. What do we all have in common - CANCER. As I danced, I was physically present, moving my body to the music (quite enjoying it) but my thoughts were running wild about what the group of people dancing in front of me- what we all had in common- what some of us might be thinking as we are dancing. Some, live with cancer. Some, like me are fortunate enough to hear the news that you have "no evidence of disease". Caregivers, like my Mom, are getting to have a good time, for the first time in a while, she has been busy having her entire life consumed caring for me. So back to a re-occuring thought I couldn't kick: When will I be able to get on a dance floor, dance and not be reminded of my cancer? When I am in social situations that may remind me of my life before cancer, I am reminded by how different I feel now. I want to be JUST dancing, enjoying the moment and carefree.
3. For one part of the conference, when you entered the room you found the table that had the type of cancer you had/have displayed on a card, you sat at that table. I called it the "what body part fucked you over" lunch. Anyways, to the real part of the story. There are so, so many different cancers and I am fortunate to have (If I have to have it) had a cancer that is well-treated and unfortunately common which means there are lots of funds that go into research and cures. I have a huge community of support. Actually, I came to learn that many of the "other" cancers dis-like us breast cancer people. Basically, they hate pink. We are like the Pink Ribbon Mafia. So many cancers don't have an entire month dedicated to awareness like we have Pinktober. It was an interesting perspective and one that I would not have thought about on my own because I didn't realize that cancers discriminated. But, if you have a rare form of cancer, I can imagine how alone you must feel and jealous or pissed off that other more common cancers have so many more resource options. * I learned many new things about the environment, products, action we can take, etc and will be sharing them in the coming weeks. I have been a researching princess since I returned. I have had lots of down time in bed with my Ipad.
Kensington:
Kensington had an eye surgery today. Her surgery was a success and she is recovering. On serious pain meds, snoring a lot and super silly when she is awake. She is limited on what she can do over the next two weeks, so it looks like all the caring that she did for me during my recovery, I will be taking care of her now. They say that dogs can sense when someone is sick, I really think that is true. There were times she would lay on top of my stomach when I had a tummy ache, sniff parts of my body that were aching or just know when to come sit by me and just be. She is a special bulldog, for sure.
College:
One of the promises to myself for the "new year, new me" campaign is to apply to USC again for my Executive MBA. I need to prove my math skills to the admission's board so I am taking a Math for Management course at UCLA. I am seriously in over my head with how advanced the work is but I am determined to get through it and learn lots.
Stupid Cancer Manifesto (this is a great non-profit organization). Every time I read this, it takes me so long to get through it; it's beautifully written and more importantly a perfect reflection of feelings.
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